The issue of age

To answer the repeated question regarding his age, our little guy is actually 12.  :)  I have hestitated to share that because I was SO opposed to adopting a child over 8..but God had other things in mind for us!  The "issue of age" is a pretty neat part of our story, and the part of our story where God changed MY heart. 
From the beginning, his age was a huge point of contention for me! I was SO firm on the fact that he HAD to be younger than my youngest daughter! In my original heart to adopt, back in late 2004/early 2005, I felt as if he was in Russia ( I was close:)...and was between my two youngest kids' ages (and he was)!  But that was back when they were only 2 & 5, so thinking about a little guy who was 3 or 4 was sweet. But as the kids grew older, I decided that I was UNWILLING to accept a boy older than my youngest daughter. In retrospect I realize I was putting God in a box. I was going along with man's recommendations rather than God's!  I just watched the Nativity Story and was reminded how grateful I am that Mary and Joseph endured people's scorn to do what God had called them to do!  Did they ever question the way things were unfolding?  Surely it wasn't always exactly going how they had imagined it! 

God has placed us at an amazing Church which He has used to speak to us on the issue of age, among so many other things!  Last year, our Pastor and his wife adopted a 17 year old boy, who had been in foster care most of his life.  Societey would say, "no way".  But we have seen: he is amazing.  Society would say, "he's going to have serious problems."   We see, over and over again: he is one of the kindest, most helpful and most wonderful boys I have ever met.  He is older than all three of their biological girls.  I remember thinking, "I could never do that."  Society passes judgment and is afraid of boys, especially teen boys.  But God calls them all by name.  And they need us.  Our Pastor and his wife heard God's call and answered it!  Oh, just so you know how amazing our Pastor and his wife are, they also adopted two other sweeties over the past year- a four year old boy and a 18 month old little girl.  Their family went from 3- 6 kids in only ~13 months!   They are taking God's command to care for orphans SERIOUSLY!  So God was using their experience with an "older boy" to soften my heart to the idea.

Looking back to the timing of Weejen's "revelation", one of my best friends was IN Ukraine, AT our little guy's orphanage.. when I told her the news!  This friend had not only been aware of my heart to adopt ( I hardly told anyone for fear that they would bring it up with my husband & push him farther away.) but she had been praying with her family fervently for us every day regarding adoption about 6 months leading up to my husband's "revelation"!   She knew of my heartache...feeling as if I had a son missing and waiting for my husband to hear God's calling.  They and several other friends were storming the gates of Heaven with their prayers, and it worked!!  Thank you, Michelle!  Here they are in Ukraine for their adoption in August 2010.  Their adopted daughter is holding my SON, on their way back to the orphanage from Church!  It just took me 18 more months to get over "my stipulations" about age and figure out he was my son!!

As I joyfully told her the news of my husband's revelation in August 2010, I even joked "maybe you could find us a little guy while you are over there!!" (even though I knew we were most likely proceeding down the path to foster adopt since it was free!  He was 10 then.  There were actually several amazing kids they met while they were there, but they were all "too old" in my eyes.  I knew there were littler guys who needed a family as we had just found our amazing Church where 50% of the kids are adopted! Six foster families surround us every Sunday so I was just sure that is how we would meet our son.
Then in November 2011, I received an email about several Ukrainian orphans hoping to come to the US for a visit over Christmas. There was only "1 week left". My friend Michelle sent it and added that her daughter knew several of the kids and they "all knew him- he's so sweet" But we were preparing for our Cruise with my parents to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary (!!!:) and didn't have time to raise the money to host or to go to the classes, etc etc... But I asked anyway, "how old is he again?" "12" so I "ruled him out". But THEN, while we were cruising, another family we had never met before decided to host him for Christmas! They jumped through hoops to get him here, raised the money in just 3 days, drove to Atlanta to pick him up and take him back, attended a class, etc.!  Even though they weren't adoption minded they "knew God would use his time here to help him".  Then on New Year's eve day, I looked at my facebook and there he was again. This was now the third time his little face had crossed my path.  Another friend, Michelle, was there in Ukraine, at his orphanage, at that moment, adopting her teen girls! She had never even met him, but posted his photo anyway for her FL friends to see.  He was being hosted for 3 weeks of Christmas break in the U.S.-only an hour away from us! Although I still didn't like his age, I felt as if we were supposed to meet him.  I asked Weej what he thought ( gave him my list of objections...age, money, have to start all over) and he said, "sure, couldn't hurt to meet him!" Wow! So we did, on Jan 5th. I was still really nervous! I prayed and prayed and prayed in the days leading up to it. I told God He would have to give me a peace about the age factor. I reminded the kids that I couldnt really think of one instance in the Bible where God called his people and said, "It will be awesome...palm trees, white sand, cool breeze."  No, He calls us to do hard things!  So I asked Him for peace about the age issue, and He gave it to me! Immediately when I saw our little guy, the fear about his age melted. He is SO little! He looks more like an 8 year old and is very young at heart, sweet and gentle. As we learned more about him we realized he had more in common with us than we could have ever asked or imagined! 

My kids:)...and the amazing young man who was used by God to get us all together!

And we aren't just "settling" because we didn't get any other leads.  As soon as we started down the path to adopt him, not one but two little guys, who fell right in the age bracket I originally had my heart set on, became available with US foster adoption.  When I heard the news about the first one, but heart just sank.  I heard it right as we were starting a Church service, so couldn't talk to my husband about it.  I sat though the entire service thinking, "now what do we do?  That little guy is so cute, and we are already approved for US Foster care, and it would be free and MUCH easier...but my heart cried out for our little guy in Ukraine.  If my husband told me after Church that he wanted to go with the little guy in foster care and forget about our little guy in Ukraine, I was ready to fight for him with pleading and tears.  He NEEDS us!!   But it wasn't necessary.  When I asked Weej what he thought about it all after we got home, he looked at my poster board the kids and I were working on to tell our school friends about our little guy in Ukraine and said with full confidence, "We are doing this!"  That was just a little extra confirmation for me that our little guy in Ukraine is God's choice for us.  For my husband and I to agree on something immediately, especially to take the path more difficult....only God could do that!!  :)
So here we go!  Thanks for following our journey!!!